Being single seems to be that one thing that gets judged no matter if the persons happy or sad, but why? People need to embrace it. Maybe you've just been dumped, or you were the dumper and you've now got to go things alone. Scared? Don't be. Being single doesn't mean you're completely on your own, it means you are you. To help you get your head around being single there's a few things to note so you don't put your precious single years to waste.
So apparently being single is something we don't really talk about and something that people feel embarrassed to admit. But just because you're single it doesn't mean you're necessarily lonely. You have family and friends and time to figure out who you want to spend the rest of your life with. Today's culture puts so much pressure and emphasis on being in a relationship that people forget that it's actually OK to be single. First things first, to accept the fact that you are well and truly single, you're 'single life sucks' attitude needs to change. So many people feel the need to be in some kind of relationship, but what happens if you actually start to enjoy being single?
Adjusting To Single Life
Whether you've been single for a few years, days or even hours, it's time to start thinking about how good single life actually can be. Yeah you may think it's nice to have someone to share good things, bad things and even the weirdest of things with, but you don't actually have to share these things with a partner. You need to appreciate that being single is a part of life that all of us should go through because for the majority of us it doesn't happen as often as you want. 'You always want what you can't have' or 'the grass is always greener ... ' - if you're single you want a relationship, if you're in a relationship, you sometimes just want some time on your own. But instead of wanting something that's just not happening right now, appreciate the times when you are single a lot more. Enjoy it, let life flourish and all of that other stuff people tell you about having a lonely single life, forget it. Here's a few things to think about so you can get better at being single.
Learn about who you are. Cliché I know, but sometimes you just need to take some time out from life and learn about yourself. What makes you happy, you sad, you excited? What do you enjoy doing - maybe for the first time in a long time you'll be able to choose something that you actually want to do. You're not persuaded by a significant other or a friend or your parents. It's the one time in life when you can do what you want to do. Figure out what you love and what you don't. Being your own person and having your own personality may sound obvious, but so many of us get carried away with liking what other people and society tell us to like.
Chill out and just do you. Improve, expand and be the person you'd want to be with. This probably sounds like the most cheesiest thing, and to be honest it feels cheesy writing it, but this is the best advice you can get. Everyone will tell you that it's the time to be you, this is common knowledge. So instead of cringing, go out and try some new things, alone, with no one else to judge your choices.
Stop With The Chasing
Grafting, pulling, whatever else you want to call it, doesn't need to be at the top of your list. Yes, it's fun and of course you need some kind of fun in your life, but it doesn't have to be a must on the agenda. You'll thank yourself for it later. You have plenty of Tinder years ahead of you, so why rush into things? This brings up another point. Don't just settle down because you think you'll be staying single for life. Realistically, being single for life isn't going to happen. Important things in life take time, and everyone's playing the same game. You need to go past GO a couple of times to figure out what you're doing, so take this opportunity to have fun and do what you want. Build up the life you have before you start chasing the one you want.
Time Is All yours
Going to the gym at prime tea time, or deciding you want to drive to the beach at five in the morning, whatever you want to do, you can. You're single, enjoy your single life. You don't have much time when you are well and truly single. Going from your family, to friends to relationships. When do you really have any time when it's just you. Now is that time. No-ones telling you what to do so embrace and enjoy it. The time is all yours so do with it what you please. However weird and random it may be.
Stop Obsessing Over Social Media
The morning scroll may be an essential part of your routine now, but leave it at that. A scroll doesn't have to take a full hour. Obsessing and wasting your time on things that aren't really that important can get you down. Seeing how 'happy' everyone is on every social platform possible will have you questioning why you aren't in the same boat. With social media is becoming more and more popular by the day, and yes we do love it and racking in the likes is a good feeling, but how much of it is really true? We all know that people give off false images and if these are making you depressed and make you feel like you're missing out, don't fret, as we're all the same.
We love to stalk, and stalk, and stalk some more, usually until we're five years deep looking at pictures of your cousin's sister's dog's birthday party back in 2013. A healthy dose of social media is allowed, of course. We really can't live without it anymore, but feeling like you need to compete with other people's posts isn't the right way to go around it. So, the one thing to remember is that not all pictures and posts hold the complete truth, you don't have to believe everything you see on social media.
Don't Be Afraid To Do Things Alone
Go shopping, go for coffee or even head away on holiday for a few days. What's so embarrassing about sitting alone? People don't actually judge you as much as you think they do. Time to yourself is relaxing and quite enjoyable and when you know how to do it properly, you'll miss the days you had to yourself. Take a step back from everything that's going on around you and do something you want to do.
Big things or small things, do the ones you've always wanted to do. This will help you understand how to live a happy single life as things will get done. You'll see the places you've always wanted to or read up on the skill you think would be cool to have. Obviously sharing things with other people can make things better, so grab your mates and force them to join in. Working all week and hitting the pub every weekend shouldn't be be what your life consists of. While you have the time, do things you'll regret not doing in the long term.
Stop Caring About What Other People Think
You want to stay in, watch two films or binge watch 10 episodes of your new favourite series while eating your body weight in popcorn and snacks? Well, what's stopping you? It may be a Saturday night and you feel the pressure to go out and try and find the next girl to spend some time with, but you don't always have to. Do what you want to do. If you do want to hit the pubs and clubs every weekend and talk to someone new for the night, then this is the time to do so. Do it while you're single. You'll enjoy it. Your single love life is always new, fun and usually full of surprises. And as they say, young free and single life is one of the best times you'll have, so don't waste it thinking about how awful single life is.
And we don't mean in the way you may be thinking. We're going for the gym option, or if you're not an active gym goer then just generally keeping active will help you feel a whole lot better. It's been proven that exercise makes you feel good, and once you've got all the motivation you're basically half way there. Doing a new class once a week or just walking home instead of getting the bus will make your body and your overall self feel energised. Plus, occupying yourself with the gym life will keep your mind off the thought of being alone. Keeping yourself busy with something that's going to actually benefit you is the best way to go. And, (yes another benefit) when you finally feel like coming out of single life, you'll have a body that'll get you all the girls.
Learn To Love Your Own Company
Before you can begin to tolerate another human's company you need to be able to at least like your own. Living the single life or adjusting to single life can be weird, and if you're not used to being on your own it can feel even stranger. It can take time, but once you've realised that you can actually survive on your own, you'll be a lot more ready to end the whole being single thing. Single life isn't a lonely life - it's just a part of life that you need to go through. No one actually knows what they're doing, so if you can somehow figure out how to love your own company, you'll be one step ahead of the rest of us.
On That Note
You can't predict the future and planning too much into who you want to be with and when isn't going to help. Things happen, and they happen at their own rate. Sometimes things happen faster than others, so if your friends all seem to have their life together, don't panic - you're not the only one that doesn't know what the hell is going on. We're all basically just winging it, so you may as well embrace it while you still can. Single life is better when you know how to be single, so take the opportunity to actually live while you have no one relying on you in one way or another. These may even be the most liberating and productive years of your life.